It seems simple, yet it’s far from easy…

Say “No” & Set Healthy Boundaries without Feeling Guilty – the theme of our Friday online workshop for Bobcat EMEA. Participants from various countries and cultures shared similar thoughts:

• What should I do when I’ve already explained it three times, but they still don’t get it, and I don’t want to leave them hanging?
• My role is to support the team. How do I find the right balance to avoid burning myself out?
• I don’t want to be selfish. How can I stop feeling guilty?
• I love my job, and it’s important for me to stay in the loop. But I’m exhausted.

Healthy boundaries help improve balance and reduce stress, but setting them is often stressful in itself. So, we tend to avoid it.

🗝️ What helps? To start, it’s good to know:
HOW: Understand communication strategies and have the right tools in your personal toolbox (that’s the easy part).
WHY: When I say “no” to this, what am I saying “yes” to? Why is this important to me?
WHEN: Be mindful of the signals that indicate you’re stepping outside your healthy boundaries and address them promptly. Ignoring them leads to frustration, and eventually, your boundaries will burst out as anger.

⁉️ Is that enough? No. We also need to:
✅ Know that healthy boundaries aren’t selfish. Brené Brown says the most loving people have clear and firm boundaries. They are kind (not resentful or exhausted) and predictable (you always know where you stand with them).

✅ Value yourself independently of others’ opinions. Free yourself from the desire to be the “good girl” everyone likes. People will still like you even if you say no sometimes. And if they don’t, do you really want to be surrounded by those people?

✅ Have the courage for “tough love.” There’s a saying: “Don’t give them fish, teach them to fish.” I agree, but sometimes that’s not enough. When young birds are ready but afraid to leave the nest, their parents nudge them out. Nature is wise, and sometimes, we must do the same.

Is that everything? No, but it’s a good start. 😉🚀

How do you handle boundaries?

Photo: Shutterstock.com

I’m Katka, and I help people live a balanced life.